Sunday, August 2, 2009

Surprises and then some


I absolutely love surprises! Even when I know one is coming and the suspense is killing me...I still love them! Thankfully I have a husband who likes to surprise. What he doesn't like is when I spoil it (not intentionally of course!) like I did yesterday. I did this by discovering before I even left our driveway instead of when I opened up my suitcase at my hotel in Houston hours later.

It seems that was the first of surprises and I wonder if they will continue through the week. I'm in Houston, Tx right now attending a Dance Intensive(workshop) where I get to dance all day with people from around the country and learn from amazing artists. The first day has just ended and I am blown away...it has been a breath of fresh air just what I have needed for some time-INSPIRATION!! To move and learn and experience is an incredible thing. My other surprise I referred too happened in the last class of the day (am-ballet, afternoon-modern, and then two electives finishing around 6:15pm). It was was all about dance in a Church Ministry setting given by Michelle Leaney, the director of the dance ministry of Hillsong Church in Australia and she has done it for 18 years. To go to this specific elective was a last minute decision because I had planned on going to one about "Faith in a professional dance community" I thought it would be applicable because I'm now working in a dance department of a secular college.

So I attended the Church Ministry session and it was really good-even thinking about getting her book because I love how she thinks outside the box! In the last 10 minutes I felt like my heart breathed again in a way it hasn't in a while...I've just been tired spiritually and feeling a little dry I guess, without a whole lot of energy. It was a moment of revelation where 'head stuff" became "heart stuff" because no matter how many times you tell yourself something it isn't until that light bulb turns on, heart beat quickens, and you can't figure out why on earth you are on the verge of tears that you realize there is so much more than simply knowing the right thing to say. God wants the word to become flesh...real...tangible...something you can taste, that makes you want to come back for more. He wants to inspire, engergize, and breath life into dry bones because with out that breath of life we, I, am nothing, simply a shell that walks and talks.

After everyone left and I asked a question to Michelle that moment came...followed by her looking me in the eye and speaking truth. I don't think I was supposed to go to that class and just hear about church ministries (I'm not even currently in one!), but rather to have my heart awakened to the truth that God has placed me where he has me and THAT is my ministry-secular or not. I may not pray with my students before class, or use Christian music persae, but living my life in a way he has called me too is a ministry to Him and hopefully inturn will cause an influence on those around me.

Walking out of that studio in tears was not what I expected at all, but I'm thankful for last minute decisions that really could have been little urgings from the One who knows me best. Surprises truly are a good thing. So for the rest of the week I would like to expect the unexpected and see what happens and what each day may hold.

It's funny to me because when I started this blog never did I see myself sharing, better yet baring, these parts of me. That is typically not my personality-it would be too personal. I had planned on posting about fun(or sometimes not so fun)projects, house stuff, cool finds, or visual inspiration. Maybe ever once in a while posting something about dance and my great life with Mr. Wonderful, but heart stuff? Would never have dreamed! Maybe it's part of the process for me right now because when I got back to the hotel all of the sudden all I could think about was somehow sharing what had just taken place. Maybe there is more to this than I realize...Well for those of you read or have stumbled on this I hope you don't mind a glimpse into my journal(because that is basically what this entry is!) So there it is for all to see and amazlingly enough I feel a little freer for writing it! Have a great night!

2 comments:

  1. That was inspiring and beautiful. Thank you for sharing with us here on your blog! I love what you said about knowing in your mind but having a hard time truly grasping IT with your heart. I struggled with that in an area of my life recently, and it was draining. I want nothing more than God's Word to be alive and active during all the minutes of my life.

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  2. Don't be ashamed to share your heart, Ashley, it's BEAUTIFUL!! :)
    Thank you for this!

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